Believe it or not, Ravens general manager Eric DeCosta has built another failure defense.

Yeah, sad but true.

Of course, it happens every year – outside of one time with Mike Macdonald in charge – with a feeble roster devoid of playmakers on that side of the ball but filled with bloated contracts he loves to dole out to his favorites. Turns out even genius rookie head coach Jesse Minter – looking overrun and clueless in the second half of games with the most novice staff in the NFL (like DeCosta wanted) – can’t keep this team from constantly blowing double-digit, second-half leads and losing.

Now they’ve DeCosta-ed two weeks in a row to division foes, and three times already this season and they’ve DeCosta-ed a record 17 times since 2019. Baltimore has allowed more points than any NFL team in the second half (114) with an unfathomable -70 scoring differential. And, as always, DeCosta’s handpicked players offer zero pass rush when it really counts - $30M alleged "closer" Trey Hendrickson has four pressures, a 10% pressure rate and no sacks in the fourth quarter – and the team does not have a second-half interception despite being thrown on constantly.

DeCosta, every bit as smug and condescending and egomaniacal as Orioles baseball failure Mike Elias, thinks he’s a rare roster builder. But his first-round pick corners and safeties (Kyle Hamilton is a linebacker) and top-10 paid corners have combined for as many picks this season as my dog Meatball. Minter, lauded as a defensive scheme savant, is getting undressed every week – usually by bad quarterbacks – in his zone looks in dime coverage; he’s scared to blitz and he can’t muster pass rush late in games bringing just four.

The Ravens are 20th in opposing passer rating; 27th in opposer passer rating targeting the slot. They-re getting destroyed by anything close to a No. 1 receiver and Minter is already opining about aimless locker room leadership. Man, we are only seven games in with DeCosta’s handpicked coach and fraud alerts are going off all over Owings Mills. Did I mention the top two coaches the Ravens fired, to keep DeCosta in charge, John Harbaugh and Todd Monken, are top NFL Coach of the Year candidates?

 So, um, what’s this overhyped GM going to do about it? The one who, if the billionaire he works for wasn’t checked out and half-asleep, would have been fired when he fired Harbaugh in January? Maybe DeCosta should just do what he was running his mouth about in March. Seems logical enough. Being a man of his word and all, and such a hotshot dealmaker.

Hey Eric, just go back to that big plan you had this winter. The one you couldn’t shut up about when you bailed out of the Maxx Crosby trade. Surely that wasn’t just a grift to help your boss sell tickets was it? That wouldn’t be you.

You don’t want to be the King Of No Rings forever, do you? Man up, champ.

Man Of His Word?

In case you missed it – this is what was being peddled over at Baltimoreravens.com on March 11 with the breathless headline: Ravens Wanted To Get Crosby And Hendrickson:

“General Manager Eric DeCosta confirmed reports Wednesday that Baltimore actively worked on deals with Crosby and Hendrickson at the same time. “That was definitely a possibility for us. Not to say that it would've happened, but definitely something that we had contemplated and discussed with Trey."

So since then, DeCosta failed to get Lamar Jackson signed – again, as usual – and he could be in his final year here if that’s what the two-time MVP decides he wants. DeCosta built maybe his worst offensive line yet – that truly saying something by his lowly standards – and he’s helped cultivate another controversy about Jackson’s health by having his puppet coach call a high-ankle sprain that’s cost Jackson three games a “day-to-day” situation going on a month.

Boy, this perpetually-underachieving exec, who built a career and reputation off of Ozzie Newsome’s work (DeCosta is the epitome of Newsome’s fruitless scouting family tree), really has dug himself a big hole this time. But good thing he already told his fanbase what to expect back in March, with that master plan for two dominant edge defenders (well, Hendrickson doesn’t defend much of anything in the run game, but you get the idea).

Because nobody needs Crosby more than this huckster right now. And nobody flapped his jaws about him more in the offseason.

Desperation Has Become DeCosta's Brand

There isn’t a more desperate and panicked exec than DeCosta anywhere in the NFL right now.

The Seahawks (with an actual stud GM) landing All Pro guard Quenton Nelson for far less than DeCosta just gave up for concussed lineman Cam Jurgens, a delusional bounty for a struggling lineman is a bad look (Ravens had their worst run blocking of the season in Jurgens's first game with them, bummer). And multiple GMs I’ve touched base with believe the Raiders would still deal Crosby for two ones. So there’s hope!

Now, the problem is, the league knows DeCosta’s word doesn’t mean much, and they know he played the medical card as an excuse to pull out of the Crosby trade because the entire industry believed he had overpaid (just like he ended up doing for Jurgens, funny how that works). And because Hendrickson had a soft market (since he’s older and become injury prone and is a liability on early downs).

But Eric, your prayers have been answered! Crosby returned for Week 1, miraculously, and guess what? He’s still kicking ass.

Get this, he’s playing like 95% of the reps for the Raiders and can still dominate games. And we all know he’s a significantly better football player than Hendrickson, I mean that’s why you went after him before Hendrickson and then (oh man this is rich) concurrently. And Hendrickson turns out to be the guy who can’t finish a game or stay off the injury report. Yeah, who could have seen that coming.

And worst of all, the guy actually leading your pathetic roster in sacks – Tavius Robinson – is out for year. You already started mortgaging the 2028 draft for Jurgens, Jackson has you by the throat in that negotiation, and with a record $370M payroll, what’s another $15M for Crosby? You think Jurgens was worth $17M? Crosby at $29M next year is a steal.

It's only money, and Steve has plenty; but your word is worth everything, isn't it?

Salary cap issues? Take that base salary down to vet minimum, give Crosby the money up front, maybe tack on money on the back end to get him to come back here. Least you could do for the odious way you handled him in March. Who cares about draft picks now when you’re wasting what could be Lamar’s last year in Baltimore. And let’s be real, most of yours don’t really pan out, anyway.

You weren’t taking your fans for fools back in March, were you? You wouldn’t have your vast in-house media laundering false promises and BS, would you? No way. Not you. So go execute that big plan you and Bisciotti were hatching six months ago.

I dare you.

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