Gordon Elliott was banned from training after a photo emerged of him sitting on a dead horse

Gordon Elliott has opened up on one of the toughest periods of his life and the controversy that he admits could have cost him everything.

The 48-year-old was banned from training for a year, with the final six months suspended, after a photo emerged of him sitting on a dead horse in 2021.

The image led to owners Cheveley Park Stud removing all their horses from Elliott's yard - Envoi Allen, Ballyadam, Sir Gerhard, Classic Getaway, Quilixios, Malone Road, Guily Billy and Grangeclare West - with Denise Foster running the trainer's Cullentra House Stables while he served his suspension.

In an interview with Racing TV's Joshua Stacey, Elliott, who announced his engagement to Kate Harrington last week, looked back on the period, the aftermath, and the effect it has had on him.

"You probably look at life a bit different, you look at people a bit different," says Elliott when asked how he looks back on the fallout to the image now. "You see people that stood behind you and that didn't.

"Rightly or wrongly, everyone made their decision. I had people that said things and wouldn't apologise to me after. But I made the mistake and I had to pay the penalty.

"It was a tough time. We were on the brink of probably losing everything. But I suppose after a couple of days I decided I wanted to hold on to this and keep my head down and keep going."

Elliott continued: "I never thought about quitting. I suppose for the first 48 hours you don't know what... everythings going through your head.

"You're very emotional when you look at what's been said and what's going on in social media all over the world. But I had a lot of good people around me to back me up. I'd say after two days I kind of said, 'look, there are a lot of people looking here and a lot of people I've got to stand behind' and we did that."

The Meath handler says it was "unbelievable" how all the staff in his yard stuck together as some of his most talented horses were removed by owners.

"The staff in the yard were second to none," he stated. "I remember looking out... I suppose the real thing after a couple of days looking out, you're looking at grown people crying. Those horses leaving the yard by the lorry load.

"These were premiership footballers leaving. We lost the best of the best. I can understand all the owners that took the horses away, the positions they were in.

"Some of them took them away for the right reasons. Some of them took them away because they felt they had to. I don't blame anyone for doing it.

"It was my mistake. It was a tough time. As much as it was tough for me, it was tough for everyone in the yard."

Elliott admits he is a different person today to the one he was back then. He explained: "I think I'm a bit more relaxed about everything. As I said, I sit back and I look at people differently.

"I can take them or leave them. There's not a person on this earth that hasn't made a mistake. I paid the penalty for what I did. When you're in the limelight, that's what happens."

The Cheltenham Festival took place 11 days after Elliott was banned from training, with a number of the horses he had prepared for the meeting winning.

In fact, had all of those horses run in his name, Elliott would have been the leading trainer in the Cotswolds that year, just as he was in 2017 and 2018.

Tiger Roll, Mount Ida and Black Tears were all winners under Denise Foster's name, while Galvin won the National Hunt Chase after temporarily being moved to Ian Ferguson.

Two of the Cheveley Park, Sir Gerhard for Willie Mullins and Quilixios Henry de Bromhead, won the Champion Bumper and Triumph Hurdle respectively.

"That was tough looking at all those horses winning," admits Elliott. "We trained them. No matter what it says in the book, we trained them. It was tough watching them.

"If we were training that year, we'd have had six or eight winners in Cheltenham that season. We watched racing every day with different friends in different people's houses. Watched with Noel Meade one day, Eddie O'Leary's house the other day, and a couple of other places.

"It was tough watching it, I suppose. I watched every one of them and there's a little bit of a lump in your throat. When Tiger Roll won the cross-country race, that was probably the one I had a tear in my eye watching him because he's such a special horse. The way he won, it was amazing.

"Envoi Allen... obviously, things didn't go great for him in Cheltenham. I think he fell at the first or second fence.

"We made the horse. We watched him come along as a young horse. Cheveley Park, the Thompsons, brilliant people to train for. I understood completely them having to move the horses.

"They're a massive company, a massive business in the UK and it just wasn't going down good. But they're brilliant people to train for. The whole family, I still speak to them when I see them. Chris Richardson, the manager, they're brilliant."

Elliott admits it was hard to see the horses that left his yard go on to achieve the things that they did, especially Envoi Allen, who went on to win the Ryanair at Cheltenham, as well as three Down Royal Champion Chases, the Drinmore and the two-mile Grade 1 chase at Leopardstown over Christmas.

"If I stand here today and say I wasn't sick every day I saw him winning a race, I'm telling a lie," Elliott said about Envoi Allen. "Every day he won, I had a lump in my throat and I was kicking myself because of my own stupidity.

"But to be honest, I was proud of the horse every day. I remember Rachael Blackmore walking in that day (one of the times he won at Down Royal), I just gave him a bit of a pat when he walked away.

"As sick as I was that I wasn't training him, I was just so proud of the horse for the owners because he didn't change."

Elliott had to rebuild his yard following the incident and is grateful for everyone who stood by him.

"We had to start from scratch again because at the time, probably our two biggest owners were Cheveley Park and Gigginstown House Stud," he added.

"We lost all Cheveley Park horses in a day. They were gone. Michael (O'Leary), at the time, was taking a step back. He wasn't buying anything so literally everything was taken out from underneath our feet.

"Thankfully then Michael decided to come back in and he backed me from there on in.

"I was lucky enough at the time then, Bective Stud was backing me. Obviously JP (McManus), Brian Acheson and Robcour, they were massive.

"And all my other owners, from the man with one horse to everyone else backed me.

"But those big owners buying those big horses, they were the ones that are getting me back where I am."