The beginning of civilisation and Newcastle United.

George Orwell wrote that he who controls the present, controls the past. Or was that Liam Rosenior?

It was definitely one or the other.

Anyway, the Premier League is a perfect example of the point George (or Liam) was looking to make.

The marketing of the Premier League product has been beyond superb. The world tunes in to watch the greatest show on earth.

We have been brainwashed to believe that nothing comes close to the Premier League.

As I endured the first 45 mins at Selhurst Park, I wondered what those watching in Durban or Delhi were thinking.

Probably exactly the same as me. This is terrible.

So how have we managed to fool the world?

Can I recommend a programme called Fever Pitch on BBC i-player. It’s four programmes about the creation of the Premier League and in my opinion its well worth a watch.

If only to hear the commentator refer to Everton and Spurs as part of the “big five”…

As we all know football in England was invented in 1992 by Andy Gray and Richard Keys. Suddenly nothing that went before counted.

For example, Alan Shearer is the league’s top scorer with 260. The Jimmy Greaves 357 goals are now deemed irrelevant (as are the 23 top tier goals that Alan Shearer scored for Southampton before the Premier League rebranding).

Now for me, 1992 feels just a few years ago, but it dawned on me that for many who log on to The Mag, 1992 is as relevant to them as the music of The Happy Mondays or Guns & Roses.

However, if you give this programme a watch, it really helps explain why so many things are the way they are today .

For example, Man Utd hadn’t won the league in decades, and manager Ferguson was going to be out of a job if they didn’t do it this year (Some things don’t change).

A vital game against Sheff Wed heads into injury time and they are getting beat 1-0. It’s over for Fergie. Then his captain and leader Steve Bruce goes up and powers in a header. There is still hope.

And in the 95th minute he only goes and does it again. Bruce has virtually won the league for Man Utd.

A few days later it’s confirmed and the squad all go to the Captain’s house to party throughout the night.

I’d forgotten about this until I watched it, but it explains that while Steve Bruce may be a complete and utter whatever in our eyes, to Man Utd he is a legend.

I guess it’s like the way we look at David Kelly. Go and ask West Ham fans what they think of Ned.

Programme two sees the players get elevated into mega stars. Pre-1992, footballers lived “normal” lives and needed to work when they stopped playing.

Then along came Beckham and the white-suited Scouse spice boys. Suddenly football and footballers were sexy and sold lots of magazines.

There is a bit showing David James strutting topless down a catwalk. Not something you could have imagined Steve Hardwick or Kevin Carr doing a few years earlier.

To his credit, James says on the voiceover that at the time he had become a huge mammary gland. Can’t argue with that.

But this was the time when the thoughts of footballers. who struggled to put two sentences together, started to influence the behaviour and thoughts of millions.

They speak with Paul Merson. You may find this hard to believe but in 1996 Merson and a few more of his Arsenal team mates were playing while being alcoholics.

Who would have guessed?

Then we move on to Keith Gillespie. To say Keith had a gambling addiction, may be a slight understatement. He is vey candid about his problem. He tells about playing in a game at Stoke and being just minutes away from winning 50 grand, having bet on Beardsley first goal and 3-0.

It puts my weekly quid on four draws into perspective.

Then Darren Peacock scores and the pictures show the team celebrating but Gillespie looking absolutely gutted.

This was a lad who was thought to be as good as Giggs and Beckham at the time. It is a very sad story, which he tells without any self pity.

The truth is, episode three is particularly relevant to us, for very obvious reasons, but I warn you it’s bloody painful, even 30 years on.

What I took from the show was that in the early days of the Premier League, it was still a reasonably even game, with Man Utd’s title challengers being the likes of Villa, Blackburn and us.

But things change and I guess it’s a good job they do.

As the premiership was being born, you may remember that on New Year’s day 1992, Southend beat Newcastle 4-0.

Now 34 years later and Southend are National League, playing Gateshead and Hartlepool while I have heard it mentioned now and again that Newcastle United are the richest club on Earth.

Apparently.

So in another 30 years God knows what football will look like.

I will be long gone, so I hope Newcastle are in better shape than I will be.

You never know. The Premier League may have ate itself and Newcastle United once again owned by a local solicitor from Whickham.

Now that really doesn’t bear thinking about.