Poor Cristiano, taking lumps from a middling coach who did not see the world the CR7 way.

Erik ten Hag gave an interview this week delivering an unprovoked attack on the Ronaldosphere. No legs? Couldn’t run? Who is Ten Hag, another spectacular management dud, to judge the greatest player who ever lived? Stick to FC Twente, son, and leave the world stage to those who command it!

This is not me but my inner Piers Morgan talking. With his tweets defending Ronaldo, he speaks for all those apologists who have yet to accept the reality of bio-mechanical decline in humans. Indeed, like Ronaldo himself, the die-hards refuse to see Ronaldo as human at all, but god-like, which is at the root of his post- peak difficulties.

Ten Hag inherited Ronaldo when he became Manchester United manager in May 2022. Ronaldo arrived from Juventus a year prior aged 36. It always felt like a romance too far, United jumping in response to speculation linking Ronaldo to Manchester City.

His tally of 24 goals, 18 in the league, was remarkable when taken in isolation. Powered by Ronaldo United actually went backwards falling from second in the previous season to sixth, and closing under Ralf Rangnick following Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s dismissal.

Ronaldo appeared just 16 times under Ten Hag, leaving acrimoniously. The end was beautifully choreographed in a woe is me ‘interview’ with Morgan, the critique distilled into two episodes. He felt betrayed by United, did not respect Ten Hag, and was forced out.

Whilst Ronaldo’s criticisms of the hierarchy ring just as true today, there was no acknowledgment of his role in the divorce. No mention of personal decline, which was clear to all despite the goals.

In a characteristically blunt interview with The Athletic, Ten Hag has finally responded, claiming Ronaldo let him and the club down. “I flew out to Portugal to speak with him about what I was aiming for before I came to United. Obviously, he’s one of the best in football history. I respected him a lot. But at that time, as a manager, I had to make a rational decision and keep the players I admire in.”

You can imagine the audience, Ronaldo on his throne, Ten Hag at his feet on one knee, Morgan, the ever-attentive vizier, chuckling behind a curtain at the theatre of it all. Whatever the intentions of manager and player, cordiality could not survive Ronaldo’s growing fallibility on the pitch.

“He ran neither in possession nor out of possession. The reason was because he didn’t prepare himself,” Ten Hag said. “Every top team has to embrace the top player, but the top player has to work for the team.

“He was telling the players, ‘save your legs at the training’. I understand it when you are top fit – you have sessions you can save the legs. But first you have to train yourself to get into the right fitness levels.”

All of this found an echo with Portugal during last month’s international break, a disbelieving Ronaldo taking personally the legitimate decision of coach Jorge Jesus not to use him for much the same reasons as Ten Hag. For the behaviour that followed, he was given a backdated 30-day ban and £215 fine was handed down this week, the cost of having his eyebrows threaded.

Ronaldo grinds on with Al-Nassr in the Saudi Pro League, where the pretence of relevance is maintained by a fawning court. He says this is probably his final year, after all he turns 42 in February.

Juventus was the swansong moment, two Scudetti and the Coppa d’Italia would have been a significant finale to a great career. Instead, vanity compelled him to return to United, and the judgment of a coach waving a stopwatch.