Everton fans are hardly known for their unbridled optimism when it comes to away fixtures against the big boys, and there is every reason for that. The Toffees’ record away from home against the traditional top six is absolutely abysmal, to say the least, and with a visit to the Emirates Stadium to face Arsenal coming up on Saturday, the mood amongst Evertonians is one of gloomy inevitability.

However, in the interests of positive thinking – or delusion, as it’s otherwise known – let’s look ahead to the game with something resembling optimism by reminiscing over the last time we went to North London and defeated the Gunners.

April 2021 feels like a landmark date, obviously associated with COVID and no crowds in stadiums – a truly grim time right across the board. However, it was also the last, and one of the very few, times the Blues have gone to Arsenal and come back with three points.

A Rare Win in North London

The match itself was hardly a spectacle. Gylfi Sigurdsson struck the top of the bar with a first-half free kick in the best of the action before the second period opened up slightly.

The worst of VAR was seen in full flow (nothing ever changes, I suppose) as Arsenal were awarded a ludicrous penalty for a pathetic Dani Ceballos dive, before it was then overturned because Gabriel Martinelli’s shoulder hairs were offside way back in the build-up to the incident. Correct decision, wrong process.

Calum Chambers had a decent chance as he was left unmarked from a corner, striking a volley from 12 yards into the ground and over the bar, before the visitors did the impossible with 15 minutes left – not only did they score a winning goal at the Emirates, they did so in fortuitous fashion, which means it must have been a blue moon.

Richarlison made a mug of Granit Xhaka twice down the right in quick succession before getting to the byline and drilling in a pretty nothing cross that should easily have been claimed by Bernd Leno. However, the German somehow allowed it to slip through his hands and into the back of the net.

And that was how it ended. There were no away fans to celebrate it long into the night, but nonetheless, the Blues still had a win away at Arsenal and a clean sheet, as fans around the country refreshed their phones and rubbed their eyes repeatedly, making sure that what had just happened had indeed just happened.

The Arsenal XI: How Times Change

So, that’s the events of the game covered – but here is the fun bit: who played for each side? Let’s start with the hosts.

Arsenal’s current backline is widely regarded to be the best in the business. On that night five years ago? Chambers, Pablo Mari, Rob Holding and Xhaka. Wow.

The midfield consisted of Ceballos, Thomas Partey, one of the ultimate Premier League flops in Nicolas Pepe and the incredibly young duo of Emile Smith Rowe and Bukayo Saka.

Up top, ploughing a lone furrow, was Eddie Nketiah, who back then was seen as a massive prospect. Time really does elucidate things, doesn’t it?

Mikel Arteta was manager as Arsenal were wondering how long they had to “trust the process” before success came. Once again, time really does clear things up.

The Everton XI: A Fever Dream

And now for the visitors. Stand by.

Jordan Pickford is the only survivor from that XI still at the club, and he had a solid night in goal.

The back four consisted of Seamus Coleman, Mason Holgate, Ben Godfrey and Lucas Digne. How we kept a clean sheet with Godfrey and Holgate as centre-halves is anyone’s guess, quite frankly, and makes the occasion seem even more like a fever dream.

The midfield pivot consisted of Allan and Andre Gomes, which could be the midfield that boasts the biggest lack of legs in the history of the division.

Behind Dominic Calvert-Lewin up top were Sigurdsson, Richarlison and, unbelievably, James Rodriguez. Yes, the world-class former Real Madrid maestro who won Player of the Tournament at the 2014 World Cup.

For all the shudders that line-up gives you, it must be said that Sigurdsson, Richarlison and James behind your striker is strong in anyone’s book.

The weirdness doesn’t stop there. Everton’s manager was Carlo Ancelotti. Yes, the multiple league, Champions League and pretty-much-everything-you-can-think-of winning coach – right before returning to Real Madrid and ripping it up over there.

Reality Stranger Than Fiction

A killer virus during a pandemic, empty stadiums, Xhaka at left-back for Arsenal, Holding and Chambers playing for Arsenal, Ancelotti at the helm for Everton, James Rodriguez on the pitch, and the Blues winning with a clean sheet despite the handicap of fielding Allan, Gomes, Holgate and Godfrey in defensive positions away at the Gunners.

Reality really can be stranger than fiction sometimes. Would it be too much to ask for another blue moon on Saturday?