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Cristiano Ronaldo has officially announced his retirement from international football, roughly six years after his legs reached the same decision.
The 41-year-old Portuguese forward confirmed he would no longer represent his country, bringing to an end a distinguished international career that his lower limbs had quietly withdrawn from in 2020.
Ronaldo’s legs, which enjoyed an illustrious career alongside the five-time Ballon d’Or winner, are understood to have handed in their notice shortly after his 35th birthday, citing exhaustion, unrealistic expectations and an increasingly difficult working relationship with their owner.
However, Ronaldo refused to accept their resignation, forcing both legs to continue turning up for international duty despite having already informed their teammates and organised a leaving do.
A source close to the player’s right knee told Paddy Power News:
‘We told Cristiano six years ago that we’d had a fantastic run, achieved everything we possibly could and that it was time to move on.
‘But he just kept pointing at his abs and shouting “SIUUU!”‘
‘We tried explaining that abdominal muscles aren’t particularly useful when you’re attempting to outrun a rapid 23-year-old full-back, but he wouldn’t listen.
‘Eventually we agreed to keep making appearances, provided he stopped expecting us to do anything beyond standing in the opposition penalty area and occasionally jumping’.
Portugal’s national team have welcomed the announcement, with several players reportedly unaware that Ronaldo’s legs had remained contractually obliged to participate in international fixtures.
One teammate told us:
‘We’d assumed they retired years ago’.
‘Cristiano would spend most matches standing around looking furious, occasionally throwing his arms in the air because someone had selfishly decided to shoot instead of passing to him’.
Ronaldo, meanwhile, has insisted that his decision to retire was entirely voluntary and unrelated to his declining physical abilities, the passage of time or repeated attempts by Portugal’s coaching staff to introduce him to the concept of the substitutes’ bench.
He added that while his legs had officially retired in 2020, his ego had signed a new six-year contract and was currently negotiating an extension until 2040.
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