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It’s time for round two of the greatest column ever written, Nobody Asked. In Part I, I gave 16 NFL teams their own team watches, and in Part II, I’ll finish out the league. If you enjoyed the first set, you’ll love these. If you hated the first set, or just didn’t care, don’t expect this batch to change your mind. In any case, it’s filled with interesting tidbits about teams and cities and other stuff, so you’re welcome.
In 1947, Violet Bidwill (later Violet Bidwell Wolfner) became the first female owner of an NFL team when she took over the Cardinals (at the time located in Chicago), after her husband’s death. She ran the team from then until her own death in 1962, including a move to St. Louis in 1960. Here’s a beautiful violet watch to pay tribute to her historic first.
Look how majestic that creature is on the dial? Damn. Did you know that Capricorn is actually a mythical sea-goat, not a ram, making this choice inaccurate? You might not have if I didn’t tell you, and spiraling horns are far more common on rams (male sheep) than goats. Let’s call it a half win.
I could’ve gone modern and sexy with the MB&F Space Pirate or one of Bell & Ross’s skull watches but I thought the Montegrappa was too good to pass up. Look at that skull with a hat and a knife in its jaws! Yar!
The Giants used to be great, but now they aren’t. Except for two legitimately impressive Super Bowl wins against Tom Brady and the Patriots in 2007 and 2011. But after that 2011 championship, it’s been a string of heartbreaks, with 11 losing seasons. The closes watch analog to this seems to be Seiko, which I got at in an edition of Wait a Minute! Take your pick of the models, because the misses far outweigh the hits these days. Talk about heartbreak.
Did you know that the Washington Commanders were the last NFL to racially integrate? In fact, the team, then called the “Redskins” (also racist) was owned by George Preston Marshall, who was at the center of the push to de-integrate the league 13 years after it launched in 1920. Perhaps it’s not surprising, then that Washington, still owned by Marshall, took until 1962 — nine years after the previous team — to bring on black players and only did so under the threat of federal investigation. Anyway, here’s a watch that too perfectly captures this piece of history.
I thought about the Apple Watch, but that’s not a watch, so I deemed it ineligible. Then I realized 1) The Electricianz is still a brand and 2) it made an electric watch with the Charger’s colors.
Everyone hates the Cowboys except for people who love the Cowboys. Sound familiar?
A colt is a young horse. Vacheron doesn’t specify the age of the horses on this watch, but they look pretty grown. I don’t know of any watches with young horses on them. Maybe this silly billy from Hermés?
What better watch for flying aces and air combat history buffs like Falcons legend Michael Vick than the A-11, standard issue to American fighter pilots and considered “the watch that won the war?” I looked it up and it seems Vick was air combat enthusiast, spending a good amount of time and many on dog fights. It’s certainly a curious avocation for a professional quarterback, but it didn’t seem to go well for him. Vick’s hobby landed him in a bit of hot water, including a suspension from the league and jail time! I don’t know much about aviation law, but maybe his pilot’s license expired? Or maybe he wasn’t using blanks and actually shot someone down?! Thankfully, he was able to return to play in 2009, ultimately retiring in 2017.
The Clevelend Browns are not named for the color or a city or anything related to Cleveland, but rather for the co-founder of the team, Paul Brown, who also served as the first coach. Whatever his skill and management acumen, and regardless of it clearly being ok with his co-founder, that’s quite the demonstration of vanity. I thought about what might be a good watch for shows of vanity, and while there are countless that serve to display the owner’s vanity, there’s one that truly shows even greater vanity as it forces others to celebrate the person behind it. Jacob & Co. founder Jacob Arabo made this watch to celebrate his own 60th birthday, putting his own face and signature on the back and calling it, and thereby himself, the God of Time.
One of the greatest dynasties in all of sports, the New England Patriots, with Tom Brady at the helm, won six Super Bowls in 17 years. For reference, the only other team with 6 championships is the Pittsburgh Steelers, and it was over a 34-year period. In the Patriot’s 2015 conference championship game against the Indianapolis Colts, the team deliberately deflated the balls they used (each team uses its own balls while on offense). Doing so made the ball to grip and therefore easier to throw and catch, and the game ended in an utter blowout, with the Patriots winning 45-7.
How could I not pick a Raven purple watch from the hometown hero, Tsao Baltimore? So devoted to the Ravens is Tsao that you can actually get most of its models in Raven purple. This was an easy one.
For no reason at all, Nashville, Tennessee, has a full-scale replica of the Greek Parthenon. It’s just sitting there on a hill in Centennial Park. Actually, it was built for the Tennessee Centenary Exposition, and the only reason it still stands is because it was too expensive to demolish. As a tip of the hat to the “Athens of the South” (really), I’ve gone with a watch made of marble, just like the real Parthenon.
New Orleans isn’t just a city of floods and strip clubs. It’s the city of Mardi Gras! If you’ve ever been, or seen, or bought Mardi Gras-themed things, you know the dominant colors around this day of gluttony are green, purple, and gold. Respectively, the colors apparently represent justice, faith, and power, at least two of which seem cast to the wayside during Mardi Gras.
The San Francisco 49ers were named for the prospectors who rushed to California in search of gold, a migration that peaked in 1849. Any yellow-gold watch would do, but I thought it rather lucky that Sean had written up this 1949 Rolex 5030. If you want a modern option, you can go with a 128238. And I have to share my second idea, the Omega Denim Railmaster, because Levi’s was founded and remains headquartered in San Francisco!
The Buffalo Bills’ watch had to be quartz, or rather, it had to be electric. And quartz watches use electricity (now you know). Buffalo, New York, was not only one of the first cities in the world with widespread use of electric street lights, but it was also home to Alfred P. Southwick, professor, steam boat engineer, dentist, and inventor of the electric chair! I chose this quartz GMT from Certina because its colors almost match those of the Bills and, according to ABTW contributor and Buffalo native Jake Witkin, the team is going places this season.
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