Seven goals, one airport billboard and absolutely no escape for Hearts supporters hoping to leave their troubles behind.

The Celtic airport wind-up has given Hearts supporters a useful travel lesson: you can leave the country, but apparently you cannot leave the score behind.

According to The Scottish Sun, a digital advertising board at Edinburgh Airport displayed Celtic’s 7–1 victory alongside both clubs’ badges.

A lovely welcome to international travel. Passport? Boarding pass? Seven goals conceded? Excellent. Straight through.

Celtic airport wind-up delivers excess baggage

Normally, you go to the airport hoping your baggage does not exceed the allowance. Unfortunately for Hearts, seven is quite a lot to carry.

Somewhere, a Celtic supporter looked at that magnificent scoreline and decided domestic distribution was insufficient. It needed an international departures strategy.

I admire the commitment. Most of us would settle for sending a message to a Hearts-supporting mate. This was practically an export programme.

The seven wonders of the world can relax. Scottish football has supplied an eighth: a Hearts supporter finding somewhere the result cannot follow them.

Seven goals and nowhere to hide

Imagine arriving for a relaxing break, determined to forget the football.

You have avoided the highlights. Muted the group chat. Told yourself, with tremendous dignity, that it was only one match.

Then the advertising board joins in.

There it is: 7–1. No tactical diagrams. No lengthy explanation. Just two numbers delivering a remarkably efficient match report.

Perhaps Hearts could borrow that efficiency. Their defending required rather more explanation.

Airport security, meanwhile, must have looked reassuringly organised. At least somebody was checking who was getting through.

Hearts could use seven days away

There are seven days in a week, although Hearts supporters could be forgiven for requesting an eighth before discussing this again.

Seven nights away might help. All-inclusive, ideally. Nobody wants another surprise bill after paying such a heavy price at Celtic Park.

As for James Bond, forget 007. Hearts have already demonstrated a licence to concede.

Still, credit where it is due: they contributed the one. Without that, the billboard would have lacked balance.

Very sporting of them.

Celtic supporters deserve a departure lounge ovation

What makes this so funny is the simplicity. No elaborate insult was necessary. The scoreline did all the work.

Celtic supplied the seven. Hearts supplied the material. Somebody supplied the advertising budget.

That is teamwork.

Football can disappear beneath arguments about systems, recruitment and financial models. Sometimes, though, its greatest pleasure is a beautifully unnecessary wind-up.

Safe travels, Jambos. Keep your boarding pass handy.

And if they call you to gate seven, try not to take it personally.